I am a worried man. A very worried man. I realised this afternoon that I was more interested in a politicians ability to amuse or entertain me than their policies. I have long been a fan of William Hague not for his incisive understanding of world affairs or out of a sympathy for his politics, but because he has an immaculate sense of comic timing. I enjoyed his appearances at PMQs as Leader of the Opposition so much I felt a real sense of loss when he stood down as Tory leader. Boris Johnson's election as Mayor of London hasn't in the least reduced his ability to make me laugh. I'd probably be laughing a lot less if I were a resident of London but there you go. I'm a selfish as well as a worried man.
My favourite comedy politician is the great Charlie Kennedy. I voted for him as Leader of the LibDems and was so sorry for him when he resigned as Leader to recover from whatever problems he was having at the time. I am even more sorry that we hear so little from him now. Sir Ming is a very serious politician in comparison and that was all well and good for the electoral chances of the party and Chris Huhn may well be a very serious politician but I still can't remember what the fuck he looks like. Sorry. Charlie did a better job of getting the right sort of attention to the policies of the party in spite of his problems than either of his successors.
I'm afraid that my cynicism about the process of government is now such that I don't think it much matters whose hand is on the tiller of the ship of state. We're heading through stormy waters and it's going to be a rough old ride. I know that much. In view of that, we might as well have a government which is making us laugh while we search for the sick bags. I'm going to miss John "Two Jabs and an Uppercut" Prescott and his ability to mangle syntax. I can laugh at that and admire his passion even if I think he's wrong on just about everything he's ever said about anything ever. The same with William Hague and Boris Johnson.
Politics is of course serious business. Politicians are held responsible for our health and livelihoods when often they have little or no control over anything much at all. The truth of the matter is that the best they can do is give nudges occasionally and set the tone, whatever that is. I'd like them to do it with a car horn from time to time, that's all. Even Lord Voldemort - sorry, I meant Mandelson - can't really do all that very much if a multinational business decides to close down its UK operations and move to Moldova or Mongolia or much more likely, China or India. If a man as serious and well-connected as Peter Mandelson can do fuck all about it, why not have Boris blundering about giving us a giggle? Gordon Brown, bless him, is not a funny man. That great, clunking fist of his gets in the way of putting over a decent one-liner. And you can't really take the piss out of a one-eyed man in case anybody thinks you have something against partially-blind people. I'm told that he's personally charming and amusing company but his public persona is necessarily humourless and that's a sad, sad thing.
So, when the election messages drop through my letter box next year, I promise my vote to the candidate who makes me laugh the most. Keep it clean, please.
My favourite comedy politician is the great Charlie Kennedy. I voted for him as Leader of the LibDems and was so sorry for him when he resigned as Leader to recover from whatever problems he was having at the time. I am even more sorry that we hear so little from him now. Sir Ming is a very serious politician in comparison and that was all well and good for the electoral chances of the party and Chris Huhn may well be a very serious politician but I still can't remember what the fuck he looks like. Sorry. Charlie did a better job of getting the right sort of attention to the policies of the party in spite of his problems than either of his successors.
I'm afraid that my cynicism about the process of government is now such that I don't think it much matters whose hand is on the tiller of the ship of state. We're heading through stormy waters and it's going to be a rough old ride. I know that much. In view of that, we might as well have a government which is making us laugh while we search for the sick bags. I'm going to miss John "Two Jabs and an Uppercut" Prescott and his ability to mangle syntax. I can laugh at that and admire his passion even if I think he's wrong on just about everything he's ever said about anything ever. The same with William Hague and Boris Johnson.
Politics is of course serious business. Politicians are held responsible for our health and livelihoods when often they have little or no control over anything much at all. The truth of the matter is that the best they can do is give nudges occasionally and set the tone, whatever that is. I'd like them to do it with a car horn from time to time, that's all. Even Lord Voldemort - sorry, I meant Mandelson - can't really do all that very much if a multinational business decides to close down its UK operations and move to Moldova or Mongolia or much more likely, China or India. If a man as serious and well-connected as Peter Mandelson can do fuck all about it, why not have Boris blundering about giving us a giggle? Gordon Brown, bless him, is not a funny man. That great, clunking fist of his gets in the way of putting over a decent one-liner. And you can't really take the piss out of a one-eyed man in case anybody thinks you have something against partially-blind people. I'm told that he's personally charming and amusing company but his public persona is necessarily humourless and that's a sad, sad thing.
So, when the election messages drop through my letter box next year, I promise my vote to the candidate who makes me laugh the most. Keep it clean, please.
